Think back to those hungry, lusty days in your early relationship. For those in long term relationships, the difference between your sex life then and now may feel stark. It may even cause you to wonder if your relationship is ultimately doomed. Sanam Hafeez , a clinical psychologist based in New York City.
The Sex-Starved Marriage
The Benefits of Having Sex More Often
There are many reasons to have sex more often, at least when it comes to quality sex in a supportive relationship. More frequent sexual activity is linked to physical benefits, such as lower blood pressure, emotional perks, such as reduced stress, and relationship benefits, such as greater intimacy and a lower divorce rate. As far as the ideal frequency, a study found that general well-being is associated with sexual frequency, but only up to a certain point. Relationship satisfaction improved progressively from having no sex up to having sex once a week but did not improve further and actually decreased somewhat beyond this point. This goal number is fairly consistent with the current average, but should be of concern with our increasingly busy lives. Looking at the frequency of sex in the s, adults are now having sex nine times per year less than in the late s.
How often do the happiest couples have sex? (It's less than you think)
Sex does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years go by and you get older , your intimate relationship should get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other's likes, dislikes, habits, and preferences. We know that life can get in the way.
That said, a study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the average adult currently enjoys sex 54 times a year, which equates to about once a week. This is less sex, by about nine per year, compared to a similar study done in the s. Interestingly, though, another study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science — which surveyed over 30, Americans over 40 years for three different projects — discovered that a once weekly frequency was the Goldilocks standard for happiness. Sexual intimacy is vital in any relationship, and not just for the sensual pleasure of it all. Sanam Hafeez , a NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist.