Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. When we moved to VICE. Image via. Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium and shit, my name is Dr Mona Moore. Obviously, that is not my real name, but I am a real doctor. Don't feel bad for me, though, because it means I will always have a job, an apartment ten times bigger than yours and the right to tell you what to do simply because I will always know better.
Bottoms Up: 6 Strange Things Stuck Up In People's Rectums
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
UK woman Emma Phillips, 24, recently made headlines for an unfortunate reason: A 7-inch sex toy she'd been using with her boyfriend disappeared inside her butt. Phillips and her boyfriend reportedly looked around the bed for the sex toy once they realized it was missing—only to discover that it was still inside Phillips, buzzing. The couple tried—and failed—to remove the toy using a fork handle and barbecue prongs. Eventually, they called an ambulance, and doctors surgically removed the toy. Phillips took to social media to share live updates of the debacle, hoping to inspire others who'd found themselves in a similar situation.
Here’s Exactly What You Should Do If You Get A Sex Toy Stuck In Your Butt
The fella had been stuck trying to poo the ball out for some seven hours before finally admitting defeat and going to hospital. He had to undergo emergency abdominal surgery to ensure the ball could be removed for causing any further damage. Doctor Ye Dejie, the attending physician on the case, did his best to hide his shock when the glass ball lit up inside Xiao Ming's rectum during computer scans. The medic said: "Patient said he had put smaller balls up his backside before, but they usually passed naturally during his bowel movements.
Rectal foreign bodies are among the most popular yet bizarre emergency room extractions doctors perform. Usually bottles and sex toys are the items that are commonly misplaced. The anus is not limited to the capacity of objects it can accommodate, including animals.